To love and to be loved unconditionally must be one of the best feelings ever.
As utopian and unrealistic as it sounds, one thing I’ve learned from my past connections is that love begins where respect, trust, and genuine admiration coexist. It’s one of those things we can all agree upon. But one component that often gets ignored, or sometimes forcefully taken away is freedom.
Oftentimes, we associate a new union with restriction and suppression. I’m not stupid enough to say conditionality won’t emerge in a relationship. That would be asinine. But the motives behind those conditions must be dissected and re-evaluated before jumping to conclusions or making major decisions.
We often project our insecurities and shortcomings onto our partners. Those what-ifs are dangerous: What if they leave me for someone else? What if they find someone better? What if someone else could make them happier than you? You see where this leads to: petty fights, bitterness, and emotional distance. It takes away the space needed for them to grow as individuals, and space, in my opinion, can only contribute positively to a relationship.
Don’t mistake my use of the word space for not caring or ignoring concerns. Be there for them. Find ways to be a better, more supportive partner. After all, if they are struggling against the world, doesn’t it make sense to stand beside them, to ease their sorrow and give them the strength to move forward?
To end my rant: freedom is not a threat to intimacy. It is born of a relationship built on trust and respect.